


Unforgiving

by thegreatficmaster



Series: Supernatural Collection [99]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Arguing, F/M, Gen, Heartbroken Sam Winchester, M/M, Mild Smut, Reader-Insert, Sam Winchester Being an Asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 02:55:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20268856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: Sam finds the person he messed everything up with, intent on fixing everything. But will his apology be accepted?





	Unforgiving

Did he really have to be here?

Was it just a coincidence that he managed to be in the exact same state as you, going to the exact same city, town, and finding the exact same bar you just so happened to be in?

You shook your head, trying to focus on your drink, knowing your peace would be interrupted.

Of course, he strode over to you, just looming over you as his gaze was focussed on you and only you.

You tried your hardest to ignore him, but his huffing and his radiating heat just pissed you off.

“What the fuck do you want?” you snapped, not really caring how harsh you were being. He deserved it.

“I…I just saw you here. Thought we could catch up”.

You scoffed. He sounded so unconvincing. Damn bastard.

“Yea. Ok. Cos you didn’t track me down or get into contact with all your hunter buddies, right?”

You scowled at him, Sam flinching at the hate that was pouring out of you.

He wasn’t used to this. This wasn’t…this wasn’t how he was used to you looking at him.

Once upon a time, you looked at Sam as though he was the love of your life. The one man you’d be with forever.

But now…now there was just disgust and resentment.

Of course, Sam knew why.

God. He fucked up. He fucked up so bad.

_You were his light in the dark._

_Years of hunting, and you were the one he went to when he needed a break._

_Every now and then, Sam would leave Dean for a day or two, drive to you and just let himself try to have some sort of happiness._

_It worked too._

_You never asked too much of him, never pried into his life, knowing he wanted to keep that to himself._

_You were…his safety. His peace._

_You were the only person Sam ever loved, aside from Jess._

_But then it all went to hell._

_Dean disappeared. Cas disappeared._

_And Sam was left on his own._

_He knew now, this was the time to be with you._

_After almost three years of having to see you every few weeks or even months, barely being able to keep the relationship alive, he had the chance to devote himself to you._

_But he didn’t. No. Sam was stupid._

_He left you._

_For some reason, even though you’d never met Dean, seeing you just reminded him of his brother._

_It reminded him of the times he’d make up some dumb excuse, saying a Stanford friend had called him, or he needed to find something that’d take him away for a few days._

_Everything about you reminded him of Dean, for some strange reason._

_It was probably the guilt. The sorrow. The loss._

_But Sam just knew he couldn’t spend forever with you. _

_Not when all he could think about was how he snuck out on Dean to be with you. _

_Now he’d be abandoning Dean, for you._

_So he left._

_Broke up with you. Told you he had to look for his brother and he’d never be able to see you again._

_Of course, you were heartbroken._

_You knew whatever he did was dangerous. And you knew how much he loved Dean. _

_But the fact that he was finally ending it after three years was the biggest pain you’d felt._

_The first few months, you spent moping. Then you got yourself together._

_Started asking around for him._

_If he needed to find Dean, maybe you could help him._

_Eventually, you found out about hunting. _

_You never wanted to become one yourself, but when you ask around about the Winchesters, something’s bound to hear about you and come after you._

_Your first kill was a demon._

_Then a few more. A vampire. More demons. _

_Then it just built and built, until you knew practically every supernatural creature and how to kill them._

_But you never interacted with anyone._

_You kept yourself hidden. Name unknown. Completely untraceable._

_Or so you thought._

You turned around, deciding you didn’t want to be near him anymore and slipped off your stool.

Sam wasn’t about to let you go, hand latching onto your arm as he begged you to stay. To listen.

You snatched your arm back, glaring at him, before you stormed out of the bar.

The motel was close. All you had to do was get your bag, throw it in your car and drive away from him.

“Please! I’m sorry”.

His desperate attempt to get you back made you laugh.

“You’re sorry?” you scoffed, whipping back and jabbing your finger right into his chest.

“Sorry? Sorry for what, Sam? For leaving me? For never telling me anything about you? Or the fact that I found out about your other bitch? Huh? Which one? The fact that you cheated on me? Or that I found out?”

His eyes filled with regret, blinking back his tears.

“I…I didn’t cheat on you. I promise. I met her…I met her after we broke up”, he mumbled.

That just made you let out a bitter laugh, nodding your head.

“Ok. So…you lie to me and say you wanna look for your brother. Then I see you with a dumb bitch and her dog. And you want me to believe that…what? That you just decided to settle down with some random woman you met? One you met just a month after _you_ broke up with _me_?”

“I…I made a mistake. But please…”

You groaned.

You put on a smile, walking up to him and softly caressing his face.

“**_Yeah, I get it. You have feelings for me_**.”

You leaned up as he smiled lightly, your lips brushing against his ear, before you spoke again.

“**_I don’t give a damn_**”, you whispered, pulling back to see his face drop completely.

He didn’t say anything.

How could he? He messed it all up.

_Once he left you, he had no idea what he would do._

_But then he met her. Amelia._

_She didn’t come close to you. _

_He never loved her. Not really. _

_She was his Lisa. _

_The one who gave him an escape. _

_Something different that didn’t carry the memories he no longer wanted._

_He knew he shouldn’t do this. _

_He left you. _

_He wasn’t supposed to find someone else._

_But he found her. And then you found them._

_The day you came to the door, smile dropping when you saw her coming down the stairs as Sam simply stared at you, he knew he’d messed up._

Sam stayed silent, his heart breaking as you chuckled.

“That’s what I thought. You know, Sam. You try to act like you’re this sweetheart. You have this perfect image to everyone. But deep down, you’re a twisted, pathetic, shitty excuse of a human. No wonder your beloved Jess burnt. Bitch probably chose to die instead of being with you forever”.

You knew it was a low jab. 

When you found out about the Winchesters, you heard about Mary. Jess. John. Everyone. And you knew Jess was the love of his life.

But he left you for some bitch. What the hell good would it do you to be nice to him?

The pain and hurt flashed through his eyes and you felt a stab of guilt.

But it didn’t last long. He hurt you. Now you hurt him.

You left him standing there, hating himself for what he did to you. To your relationship.

It’d been a few hours since Sam saw you.

God, he drank and drank, but for some reason, he wasn’t getting drunk at all.

He wished he could go back. 

Go back and choose you. 

Choose you to spend his life with, instead of throwing it away for someone who never gave her heart fully to him.

But he couldn’t.

He walked back to the motel, wondering if there was anything he could do.

Would you ever forgive him? Could he get your heart back?

He knew you’d resist. He knew there was a chance you’d hate him forever.

But he wasn’t going to give up. Not on you.

He fumbled with the key, sticking it into the door and unlocking it.

“Hey, Dea….whoaa!”

Sam covered his eyes, his brother thrusting into someone, practically hidden by Dean’s arm.

“Dude! Don’t disturb! Can’t you read?”

Dean looked down, apologizing, before a voice told him it was ok.

Sam furrowed his brows.

Why was that voice so familiar?

Then he saw it.

Your head peeked out, no longer hidden by Dean’s arm.

“Y-y/n?”

Sam had to swallow the vomit that he could feel desperately trying to push its way out.

You and Dean. You and his brother. 

You’d touched each other. Kissed each other. Tasted each other.

“You know each other?”

You nodded, pushing Dean out and off you, getting up and pulling your pants on.

“Yep. Sam here was my boyfriend for a few years. Left me for some bitch”.

Your top was inside out, making you sigh as you turned it back to normal.

“You…you and Sammy?”

You simply nodded, grabbing your stuff and quickly pulling your top on.

“You…did you know who I was?”

You shrugged, smirking at Sam as his eyes began watering.

“I did. And I knew Sammy here would be back anytime soon”.

That seemed to enrage Dean, who jumped up while he held the sheets to himself, face red and pissed.

“YOU FUCKED ME TO GET BACK AT MY BROTHER?”

You scoffed at Dean’s blatant attempt to intimidate you.

“Listen. You’re hot. But you’re really not that scary. So simmer the fuck down. Yes. I fucked you to get back at Sam. And yes, I knew it’d hurt him. But, he deserves it. Besides, I’ve heard stories about the Winchester boys from everyone”.

You made your way to the door, ignoring the tears that poured down Sam’s cheeks.

Turning the knob, you were just outside the room, when you turned around, intent on hurting Sam even more.

“Oh…and by the way, Dean’s the better Winchester”.

With that, you walked away, hearing the faint sound of Dean swearing, followed by his constant apologizing to his brother.

You smirked to yourself as you climbed into your car.

This wasn’t you. Not the old you.

The old you never would’ve done this.

But then again, the old you would’ve fallen at Sam’s knees, begging him to come back to you.

The old you was pathetic and weak. Reliant on affection and approval.

But now? Now you didn’t care about anyone’s opinions.

And god, if that wasn’t the best way to live.

You started the car, looking into the rear-view mirror as you drove away, the door to their room still open as you saw Sam’s head turn to watch you leave his life, for good this time. 


End file.
